Week 1 in Haiti...I was a total germaphobe...I am ALWAYS sick! So, at the feeding program, I’d play and love on these 120 kiddos who were often covered in scabies, open cuts, infections, or would have horrible coughs and would conveniently cough in my face with a bit of spit to go with it. I'd sneak away every 10 minutes or so just to apply hand sanitizer, pray God would protect my health, then continue ministering. By week 7 of Haiti, I had no inhibitions with the kids. They were hugging me, hanging on me, sleeping in my arms, kissing my cheeks, holding my hands with their scabi covered hands. It's so silly, but I no longer saw them as walking viruses out to get me, but saw them as people. Just like Jesus saw the lepers...people were afraid to touch them or come near them, but He wasn't. I was so convicted of my previous attitude toward them, and God totally replaced my paranoid spirit with peace and love for these kiddos who so desperately need Him. And my Jesus honored my obedience to love by blessing me with perfect health throughout my time in Haiti!
Week 1 in Haiti…having the street kids beg for food and water from me every single day every single time I saw them. As a rule of Child Hope, we are not allowed to give anything to these kids when they ask because #1, we could never have enough for each child when a crowd draws and #2, we cannot sustain feeding them after we leave, so it's unfair to put that burden on the remaining missionaries. This really grieved me, and some of the kids would get really angry when I'd refuse to give them food or water. Week 7: Realizing that although it would make me feel better that I have given to these kids when they are hungry, I am not the ultimate answer to their need. I have a heart to give and feed the hungry (duh) but I had to come to realize that I cannot feed all of Haiti. My mission was not to fill them physically for a moment, but to pray for them and show them how to get fed spiritually. Drink LIVING WATER that they may never thirst again! These sweet kiddos who would once get mad at me, would still ask my for food and water, but when a hug and kiss on the cheek and letting them know that Jezi (Jesus) and I loved them was all I gave for weeks...eventually they were content. My focus on the poor has changed from simply giving a handout to thinking about how to build meaningful relationships with them.
Week 1 in Haiti…feeling completely overwhelmed and unqualified to teach and persevere through the amount of misbehavior and disrespect I had to endure daily at school. Nothing that would’ve worked in the States was working here. I was discouraged and losing sight of my purpose. Week 7, realizing that I am probably still ill equipped and God truly had to do the work through me. I can’t expect to see fruit develop in the lives I’m sowing into over the span of a few weeks. It was a pride issue. I wanted to see results and transformation to feel significant and purposeful. Ouch, sorry God...I wanted to take the glory. I was reminded of the life of Jeremiah. He was called to be a prophet and for 40 years he pleaded and cried with a rebellious people that didn’t repent during his lifetime. Yet he persevered and was faithful. Wow, I just gotta trust that what I sowed will be watered and hopefully harvested by others, and God will certainly provide the growth.
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